Stop and think of some times in relationships when you've felt like your boundaries have been violated. Do you feel like other people cross over your boundaries? Do you sometimes feel like a "victim" of other people who trample over your boundaries? Maybe you find yourself saying things like:
     • He doesn't respect me, or why doesn't he respect me?
     • She takes advantage of me. I give an inch, and she takes a mile.
     • They make me feel bad, discouraged, or like I don't matter (or any word
          that completes that sentence.)
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Sound familiar?
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Or, on the other hand, maybe you know that sometimes you are a "trespasser." You are the one that crosses over into other people's "stuff," but you do it anyway. Maybe sometimes you've thought to yourself:
     • I get irritated when he doesn't do what I think he should.
     • It's obvious what needs to be done, so I point it out.
     • For crying out loud! Get a backbone! Stand up for yourself!
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Which one are you? Even though you might recognize both sides, I'm guessing you have one that feels more familiar. Let me ask you, how do you feel when you experience this? I'm guessing it doesn't feel very good.
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Here's the good news. All of those examples can be boundary violations. And - the best news? You are in control of your boundaries - even if it doesn't feel like it. For our relationships to be healthy, one of the components is intact boundaries.
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