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Let's Talk Inner Critic

Updated: Nov 27, 2022

I want to ask you a couple of questions.

• How familiar are you with your Inner Critic?

• Is he/she always at the ready to point out something to you that’s just plain wrong?

• Does the voice whisper to you or does it jump up and down to be sure you don’t overlook

or ignore it?

• Does it prefer to criticize you or others or the circumstances? All three?

• Does it ever bug you that it is so loud, so persistent, so self-righteous?

We all have one you know. Hopefully that is a small bit of comfort for you. You are not alone. And here’s even better news, you can learn to quiet it. However, here’s a bit of bad news, it takes work- conscious, intentional work.

If you think your Inner Critic’s constant “help” to see things that need fixing or correcting is helping you- that you are just doing dandy- you can stop reading now! However, here’s a newsflash- except for circumstance or people who are threatening or potentially harmful to you- finding fault and seeing the flaws in people will always result in increasing disconnection. Just sayin’….

But- if you are tired of seeing what’s wrong with others or yourself and want it to STOP, or at least slow down, you are my audience! You are the one I want to talk with.

Three Steps to Begin to Quiet Your Inner Critic:

1) Begin by bringing awareness to when it is yapping at you. It might be helpful to focus on one or two people that you know tend to bring that voice out. When you are with them, be aware of thoughts that are critical or judgmental. When you recognize one, slow down your mind by taking slow, deep breaths.

2) Ask yourself if the thought you were having is true? I find this to be especially helpful with people I know well. When they don’t do what I want or expect and my Inner Critic says, “Wow, they sure are a jerk” (or any other word that fits)- I try to stop and ask myself if that is true? Is it really true? Nope… the truth is I’m just being selfish, wanting them to behave the way I want them to. Uff da. It is not only work to learn to recognize your Inner Critic, but sometimes it’s unpleasant to see the warts in you instead of berating the other.

3) Continue the slow, deep breaths as you find an alternative thought to the one your Inner Critic wants you to believe. In my example above, perhaps I think that they are an adult and get to make their own decisions and choices. As I allow an alternative narrative in, I can feel my body relax, releasing the tension caused by the Inner Critic.

Give this a try! And I would love to hear from you about challenges and benefits you receive and, of course, any questions you have!

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